Week 23 -"Seafood so good, it'll make you want to slap your baby-daddy"

Okay, we have all heard the DON'T EAT FISH while pregnant rule.  Well, big shocker I heard about 50 versions of that rule and all were equally hilarious.  There are such nervous nillys out there, it cracks me up.  Anywho, I am a huge fish lover, big on fish, big on fish!  How big?  Well, lets just say that when I eat at Pismo's local eatery the Cracked Crab, it looks like that scene from Splash (with Daryl Hanna) when she is ripping into lobster like it was a box of See's Candies!  Or, my husband did tell me it looked like a scene from animal planet when a shark sneaks up on it's unsuspecting prey.  Yeah, that would be me.  To actually sit there and watch me eat like this could do one of these things:

1.  Make you laugh so hard you can no longer breath and or quite possible pee your pants.

2.  Turn you off from your fish your loving diet and save people from a seafood devouring person like myself

3.  Get the sudden urge to start selling tickets to this feasting freak show

Okay, okay back to the no fish thing.  So, I get a book from my doctor and it pretty much spells everything out for you.  You can eat this and this and this BUT, you cannot eat:

-Shark (JAWS gets to live to see another day)

-Swordfish (What no swordfish?! I eat it daily!! J/K)

-King Mackerel  (Sounds like a bands name)

-Tilefish  (WTF is this fish…somebody, anybody?)

Then to top it off the tuna they allow you to eat is the dark meat tuna that sits in water!!!  Blehhhh!  Oh, and don't forget about the 12 ounces of fish you can eat at one time…for the week!  Or split it into two meals, which would be 6 ounces each meal (I totally busted out my mad math skills for that one).  

I digress, back to my craving of a boat load of fish in week 23.  So, week 23 was a nice week filled with one big ol' surprise for my husband.  What was that surprise???  A nice trip to the beach!  I knew we had both been craving a nice bowl of clam chowder and fish and chips for some time, so why not suffice that craving at Pismo Beach?  Once we arrive we checked in and quickly ran to our favorite spot for…you guessed it, a boat load of delicious fish!  When we arrived at Splash I looked at my husband and said "I would like a clam chowder bread bowl and an order of fish and chips, momma has been holding off on fish for this one meal so do not miss anything I have just told you."  Like the amazing husband he is, he asked no questions, made no comments about the ounces of fish consumption and just ordered what was on my "need to eat" list.

Within minutes our food was delivered to us and I was already a hot mess, chowder was everywhere fries were in my bread bowl; it was not a classy affair.

To top it off we were seated at the front of the joint where people can pass by and watch you eat like you are a monkey in a zoo.  So, I am pretty sure people were watching in horror and possibly facebooking the pregnant woman devouring her meal at Splash Cafe.  Did I care…NOT AT ALL.  In fact, I am sure I would have posed with my chowder, that's how happy I was.

I saved my fish meal for the best time ever and have yet to eat a meal so satisfying…well, kinda.  HAHA!  

Weeks 20-22 -"Feeling so good, I forgot I was pregnant"

What can I say, weeks 20-22 were pretty easy going.  I was feeling good and loving this pregnant stage.  I had heard about this "stage" of pregnancy and to be quite honest I thought it was going to skip right past me and move onto the next pregnant woman. 

Week 19-"Stranger Danger!"

Okay, now stranger danger might be a bit dramatic but, when you have some one coming at your belly with full on intention to get their "belly rub" on and you don't quite know the person on that sort of level…well, that is about all you want to yell.

"Stranger DANGER!"

Week 19 was filled with not one but two different emotions, granted I am a hormonal pregnant woman so there were way more than 2 emotions that week; but, these 2 really stuck out in my memory.

Emotion1: The absolute excitement that oozed from my body when I actually noticed that I was starting to look pregnant. I no longer had the burgers and beer belly that I dreaded showing. I was actually getting a pregnant belly! Holla!! I found myself rubbing my belly all day, it became a daily, hourly ritual that was so comforting to me.

Emotion 2: Back the eff up you creepy person that I have only met a couple of times in my life or random person at store. Seriously, Back UP!

Let's talk about emotion 1 & 2 shall we? Okay, I believe it was mid week and I decided to look at my body. Actually inspect it for the first time since becoming pregnant. It was something I was not looking forward to so, I put it off each week until week 19. Why week 19? Well, that was the first time I noticed that while in the shower I could no longer really see my va-jay-jay! Wow, TMI right?! Suck it up! It is what it is and all pregnant mommy's out there know what I am talking about. There is nothing like that moment when you realize that your vaggy is playing hide and go seek with the growing baby inside you. Out of pure shock, I quickly reached down there to make sure it was still there. Like, where the hell was my vaggy going to go?! That realistic question didn't pop into my head once while I was feeling around to make sure the goods were still there. Everything seemed on the up and up after my check, and it was at that moment I truly embraced the physical changes that were going on. I placed my hand on my belly and all in the world seemed right. I felt like a protector, like a super hero. Here I was creating life, growing another being inside me

(still a little sci-fi) and now it was my duty to protect him and give him a safe place to grow. I must admit I felt pretty awesome! I was given a pretty big responsibility and I was not taking that lightly!

After my morning shower, I decided to get out for a bit. I had a list of errands to run and the weather was nice enough (under 101 degrees) to run such errands. A couple of stops later I run into a store I hadn't been in since finding out I was preggers. I walking in talked to the person behind the counter,  we covered all sorts of conversations on life, work, home, family the whole nine. Then about 15 minutes later my spidey senses started to tingle and not in a good way. I

I saw movement from the corner of my eye, it was swimming in my direction and I had to think fast about how I was going to avoid this one. I quickly responded to my first instinct; cover the belly! Both my arms when right to my belly folding over it trying to provide it with massive coverage. It was at that moment I hear "oh, its a belly!" with a half smile on my face I turn around to face what reminded me of a football player in mid reach to catch the ball.

My arms tightened over my belly and I was amazed to feel how my body was reacting to this. If I do recall, I was one of those gals who thought "I am going to let everyone touch my pregnant belly, the more love the better!" Blah, blah, blah! If I were facing my old self now I would slap her. This feeling and complete desire to protect my son was filling my body and controlling every part of my brain.

I noticed that this person was coming closer and the hands weren't budging, I made a slight shift in my arms hoping to make it noticeable that I wanted no part of this persons hands on my body. Yeah, that didn't work. Next thing I know my arms were parted and this person was rubbing my belly like a effin' gypsy would rub a crystal ball. There was some serious friction being made and I was not feeling it.

You know that scenes in Kill Bill when Beatrice Kiddo aka Black Mamba would see her enemies sirens started blaring and you just knew some crazy sh*t was going to go down; well, that is what was going through my head.

Instead of busting out my Hatori Hanzo sword and cutting a fool, I decided to keep it classy and turn around as I bid my goodbyes. As I was leaving I over heard belly rubber say "luck for me". Okay, belly rubber wherever you are. I am all about spreading the pregnancy joy and love but, please do yourself and other pregnant ladies around you a favor. ASK the pregnant woman if you can touch her belly for good luck, don't just go and assume the belly rub is yours for the taking. Because honestly, I almost cut you in public and it wasn't going to be pretty.

Don't mess with this super hero, I am my kids protector. Much love week 19, thanks for the emotions!

Week 18- "Was that what I think it was?"

The one thing that I must say is I was not prepared for was feeling my little guy move.  Granted since the moment I found out I was pregnant I kept on fast forwarding to that one moment when I would feel the baby move inside me.  That one thought alone can bring a woman the biggest smile on earth, from ear to ear ; I on the other hand… I envisioned something that resembled a scene from Spaceballs or even Alien.  Yes, when I thought of my baby moving around inside me I thought of a chestburster. 

Don't judge me, I am just a product of too many odd sci-fi movies as a child and a very active imagination.  I think I have told this to my husband time and time again, while the whole process of creating another life inside me is truly amazing and beautiful; it still has a tendency to be rather sci-fi to me.  Something is GROWING INSIDE ME, FEEDING OFF OF ME.  Yeah. Enough said.

So! When this little guy wanted to make his presences known you can all pretty much imagine how I reacted! Well, let me kinda of walk you thought that beautiful non-sci-fi moment in my life.

The middle of week 18 was upon me, I was feeling great  and slowly getting my energy back.  I still had my afternoon naps that would start at 2 PM sharp, so at 1:54 I made my way to the couch and was preparing for the ultimate nap!  While I laid there in silence taking in the afternoon heat and reading my book that rested perfectly on my little bump (bump talk later), suddenly, there is a jolt to my book!  "WTF WAS THAT!" was all that I yelled.  I looked around the house to make sure nobody saw my slight freak out, once I realized I was still alone, I told myself to calm down and to just wait for another jolt… 

The countdown for the next tummy jolt started "1 mississippi, 2 mississippi, 3 mississippi, 4 mississi… oh my gosh, oh my gosh there it goes again!!"  

This time there was punch or a kick so strong from within my belly, I couldn't help but grow a smile from yup, you guessed it ear to ear!!  My little man was letting me know he was there and he was growing inside me!

It was at this moment a bond so strong was formed, I knew that from this week forward I would be feeling him move and that I no longer had to wait for another Dr. appointment to hear his heartbeat or see his cute little body on the monitor to know he was still there.  He was going to let me know each and every day that he is still there, hanging out baking away until December!

Week 17 - "You are having a boy!! You are naming him WHAT!?!"

Week 17- " You're having a boy & you are naming him what?!!"

As most parents to be know advice and opinions are thrown at you like a rough game of dodge ball!  Some of the hits aren't too bad and don't sting for too long but, then you get the ones that sting like a mother and leave welts the size of Russia on your body!

Well, a rough week long game of dodge ball is what my husband and I played with family and friends for the long 7 days in our week 17 of pregnancy.  Before my baby daddy and I even remotely thought about trying to conceive  we would find ourselves talking about what we would name our future child.  Since we knew we were going to only have one child we knew we only had to pick two names. The names would have to be ones that we loved and fit our family best.  After hours of daydreaming of our future child we came to a nice strong list of names that WE loved.  We wrote them down and put that piece of paper in a nice little box, only to be pulled out again when we were faced with the question of what to name our child.  

After our exciting news in week 16 we decided to pull out the ol' list and give it a once over.  We knew we had a couple of boys names we had to chose from but, once we opened up that piece of paper and took a look at the names; just one seemed to jump out at the both of us.  We knew in our heart of hearts that this was the name we were to give our son.  With love in our hearts we both called to my belly at the same time "Han Solo"*.   We knew that the name was not traditional in the sense that everyone has heard it and knows how to say it but, we figured that all people in our lives would be accepting of the name and would just think "well, that's typical Roberto and Ashley for you".  

So, when we were finally asked "do you have a name?" we didn't hesitate to tell them.  We were (and still are) proud of the name and we wanted to share his name with family and friends.  BAD IDEA!  BAD, BAD, BAD!  Holy cow, if I would have known how much sh*t we were going to get for his name, I would have kept my mouth shut until the day he was born! I know that people are going to give out unsolicited advice once they find out your are preggers but, nothing prepared me for the unyielding amount of flack we received in regards to our decision.  

For example:

1."You are naming him what?"

2. "How can you do that to your child?"

3. "You have no idea what you are doing to your child."

4. "Your child will get picked on."

5. "Your child will have no friends."

6. "Your child's teacher will never be able to say his name."

7.  "You HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOUR CHILD!"

8.  "Swear to GOD you are naming him that."

9.  "You are not!?!  Really!?!"

I am sure I have forgotten a few comments but, all for the best I am sure of it.  Here were my responses that played over and over again in my head:

1.  Repeat after me, HAN-SO-LO

2.  Um, do what exactly?  Give him a strong, kick ass name like Han Solo?

3.  Okay, you tell me what I am doing to my child?  Last I checked I was giving him a name.

4.  ALL CHILDREN GET PICKED ON GENIUS!  KIDS ARE JUST MEAN!

5.  Good thing our son will not be born with your pessimistic attitude.

6.  My child's teacher will learn to say it!

7.  I am thinking about my child jerk!  Friendly reminder to this person, you named your child with a equally difficult name to pronounce!  Same amount of letters too!

8. If you want to get all "put it on your momma", fine I will!  I thought people left that in high school.

9.  Yes, yes I am Thank-you-very-much!  When YOU give birth to YOUR next child, I promise I will let YOU name him or her whatever YOU want.  PROMISE!

Okay, I know that some of my thoughts may have been a little harsh but, come on people please keep other peoples feelings in mind when you are spouting off pregnancy related advise.  I do know that the people in our lives were not saying all these things to hurt us but, there came a time when our spirit was a little worn down by all the negativity that came at us.  

So parents to be and future parents to be, my unsolicited advice to each and every one of you is to keep your mouths sealed when it comes to sharing the name you have picked for your little bundle of joy.  For all those mommas out there, your child the light of your life is coming out of your vagina, you are the one going through the vaginal marathon so, if people want to have a say in what you name your child…you can tell them to go get pregnant and then it will be at that point they can name their child whatever they want!

Week 17 was a rough week and dodge ball is not our sport.  Here is looking at Week 18!

*The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Kind of Random Like my Thoughts!

My brain seems to be all over the place these days...here is a pretty decent example of what pops into my head on any given day since 12 weeks pregnant.

IS 2 PAC REALLY DEAD?

PANCAKES WITH EXTRA SYRUP! 

WHAT WOULD ELVIS DO?

ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM

FOOD!!!

FOOD

Why are Ramona's eyes (from Real Housewives) so big?

STRING CHEESE!

IB HOAGIES & CHEESESTEAKS

TEAM JACOB OR TEAM EDWARD?!?!

(DO YOUNG GIRLS & SOME GROWN WOMEN REALLY LOOSE SLEEP OVER THIS QUESTION?)

CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON OR BEETLEJUICE?

(THIS QUESTION KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT!)

HMM.....

AND BECAUSE FOOD IS ALWAYS ON MY MIND...

Weeks 14-16

Week 14- "The IMPORTANCE of Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate"

The week was starting off in an illustrious sort of way, morning sickness was at still at bay and I was enjoying every minute of it!  WIth certain aversions and my gnarly sense of smell, cooking was quickly booted from my life as an early pregnant lady.  You know, as strange as it sounds, I was starting to miss cooking.  I missed being in my kitchen.  When I cook it is just the food and I; nothing else.  I sing, I dance (when no one is looking) and I try to mimic the chopping techniques I saw on Iron Chef that week.  So, when week 14 rolled around and I hadn't cooked a single thing in close to 100 days, I started to feel my kitchen call to me like that devilish jelly donut you know you shouldn't have.

So, I decided to let my inner Julia Childs see the light of day once again.  I dusted off my spatula and gave the ol' kitchen a go.  By they time I was done making dinner I felt like I had climbed Mt. Everest and it felt GOOD!  What was on the menu? Fettucini Alfredo with a side salad (watch your back Mario Batali!).  Okay, maybe that was a little bold, but Chef Boyarde best watch his ravioli packing' arse.

When dinner time rolled around the next day, I was not in the mood to cook; especially after a 3 hour comatose-like nap.  So, I went through all the restaurants in my rolodex and found myself wanting mexican food!  WTH!?!  Since I was about 5 weeks pregnant Mexican food had been a "no-go" for me.  WIthout hesitation I called my husband and told him to "get his engineering behind to Visalia as fast as he could because this pregnant woman wants some mexican food!".  Once he walked though that door I knew he was by far the happiest man on the planet.  Like me, he had been mexican food free for 100 days and I knew he was itching for some beans, jalapenos!  

"Las Palmas, here WE COME!"

After completely annihilating a taco/burrito combo plate, my body felt like it was a great time to let out the loudest burp it could muster up!  It was so loud the lady with the hearing aid turned around to catch a glimpse of the 16 year old boy who let out that belch…and instead she found little ol' me.  I wasn't embarrassed by any means , I gave her a quick smile and walked out a satisfied customer.

Friday came in a hurry and it was doctor time, which meant it was time for us to hear our little ones heartbeat!  I was so excited I could hardly contain myself!  I pulled into the parking structure to be greeted by my love leaning against his car all GQ like with a glowing smile on his face.  It looked like I wasn't the only one excited to hear our baby's heart.  30 minutes passed and we were ready to hear our baby's heartbeat.  My doctor walked in with a little walkie-talkie looking thing said "let's hear this baby's heartbeat."  Next thing you know I am on my back and she is squirting jelly on my belly (ha-ha I know that sounds funny).  While she is moving what could only be the receiver around my belly, she starts to throw out words like placenta, uterus, baby, sleeping on side, and I think I heard her drop the word unicorn once or twice.  After what felt like 30 minutes (in reality 30 seconds) I couldn't help but start to get nervous because I couldn't hear the heartbeat.  I looked at my husband from the corner of my eye (thank you peripherals) and saw a slightly worried look on his face as well.  Then voila!  SHE FOUND IT!  I looked at my doctor and asked "is that me or the baby?" with a gentle smile she looked at me and said "that is your little one".  I couldn't help but want to cry…again!  

She said that the heartbeat at this time in my pregnancy should range between 120-160 and ours was at 139, which meant he was right in the middle and that was healthy and strong enough for us!  Not too high and not too low.  

Friday ended well for us, Saturday and Sunday….not so much.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling great, I was ready to take on the day.  So, I had a good breakfast followed by a couple of errands.  Everything was going well until about 11:30 then I started to feel a little off.  I brushed it off and continued on my way … it probably wasn't the best idea.  Once we got home I felt completely drained, and not in a good way.  I was warm then cold and my sleepiness was coming on super strong.  I started to fall asleep on the couch and found myself feeling a little on the nauseous side.  My super hero of a husband quickly jumped to my aid and googled all of my symptoms.  We narrowed it down to Malaria and/or Typhoid Fever.  Then when it dawned on us that Google probably wasn't the best way to diagnose a problem we decided to call the doctor. 

As all of you mommas know when you call an on-call doctor, the phone call back doesn't necessarily happen within the next 15-30 minutes.  An hour later I found myself in my bed hoping to feel better and wanting to throw up.  I felt pretty protected in that comfy bed of mine, I had my husband with his hand on my belly (still googling from his phone) and my two four legged animals freakishly close to my stomach.  Then BAM!  I hear the hubcap yell as if finding the cure to Alzheimer's "YOU ARE DEHYDRATED!".  I looked at him and rolled my eyes and said "okay Doogie Howser, MD let's see if water helps me feel better".  

With the speed of a comic book character I found him by my side with an ice cold glass of water.  I take a sip and find myself chugging the whole cup, after finishing the cup I started to think he might be on to something.  Every hour on the hour he was giving me a new cup of water and forcing me to drink H2O like a fish!  

About 3 hours later I found myself feeling better but still weak and waiting for a doctor, any doctor to call me.  Roberto (my husband) was ready to go to the ER but, I will be damned if I pay 500 dollars to be told I am dehydrated and a little water and gatorade should do the trick.  With hour 4 creeping up, my phone rings!  I quickly pick up the phone and I hear a young voice say "hello, this is Dr. Weebley calling for Ashley"  it was like sweet music to my ears.  I quickly give him the run down from how I was feeling to my husband googling.  He chuckled and asked how I was feeling at this very moment.  I told him I had a slight case of dry mouth but, my energy was coming back and I was no longer battling a fluctuation of body temperatures.  With a smooth even tone he said "you sound like you are doing great, the husband did well and as for the dry mouth you should be fine, unless you find yourself in the middle of the Arizona desert with no water I wouldn't be worried.  Keep an eye on your symptoms and if they worsen go to the hospital and they can get you hooked up to IV's.  Have a good night Ashley and rest."  

After saying "thank you and goodbye" I hang up the phone and quickly start to chug glasses of water and bottles of G2; there was no way I was going to get an IV stuck in me just yet!  HELL NO!

Week 15 - "The sickness in more than 1 way"

Uggh, I would read about pregnant woman being more susceptible to getting sick due to a lower immune system, but with the way I antibacterial myself on an hourly basis I thought I was above all that sickness mess.  Boy was I wrong.

Waking up Tuesday morning I felt it, that little annoying tingle in your throat.  You know, the one you try to pass on as allergies but, in the back of your mind you know damn well it is a cold coming to kick your arse!  I start pumping Vitamin C and a couple of zinc pills to help out this cold, but nothing was helping and by Wednesday I found myself feeling a little bit worse.  My husband, being the sweet man he is, stops by a local Pho hotspot and picked up some "magical soup".  When he walked in I could smell the lime, basil, cilantro, broth and…chicken.  NO!!  I still can't eat chicken without wanting to throw up!  I forced myself to put a couple of pieces of chicken in my soup, I did need the protein.  While I sat there and slowly sipped my soup I see my husband make the biggest soup fumble of my life.  It was like everything happened in slow motion.  I saw the setup, the soup hand off and then came the fumble!!!  Noodles, soup, jalapenos, and CHICKEN flew everywhere!  It was terrible and boy did it smell terrible.  I could instantly smell the chicken that was laying on the floor in a pool of sriracha soupy goodness and it was not looking good.  

20 yard penalty to Berto and I go running to the bathroom.  I am sure we all know how that ended.  

I walk back into the living room with no appetite and still smelling the pho disaster.  I look at my husband and give him a look filled with sharp daggers dipped in love.

He gives me that smile that usually melts my heart…Usually!  

Thursday, my cough kicks in and it is as dry as the sahara!  I go to Target to pick up some cough drops and maybe some pregnancy safe cold medicine.  All I want is a little relief.  Standing in front of the techni-color rainbow of cough drop bags I start to question which one is "safe".  I grab a couple of bags that show no sign of menthol or alcohol and head to the pharmacist.  I ask him to please tell me which one is safe for pregnancy.  He hands me Ludens, WTF!?  I want relief mister, not candy!!

I turn around to look at cold medicine and notice that I left my "pregnancy safe list" at home on the counter (perfect place for it).  I grab Tylenol Cold and head back to the pharmacist.  He smiles at me and looks down at the evil cold medicine, aka relief, in my hand.  Next thing I know he is lecturing me about medication and my baby, bleeding placenta, lack of blood to my child in utero and something about centaurs.  

Now that I am officially on medication info overload and I feeling like the most terrible mother in the world, I mope back to my relief aisle and put the evil medication back in its spot.  I will now have to suffer through this cold like a big girl. DAMNIT!

Friday- WoAH WoAH WoAH!  Slow your weird dream horses!  I know I heard that dreams start to get a little crazy the further you get into your pregnancy, but this is just a little much too soon in the game.  I had read some funny examples of other pregnant women dreams and I could see my imagination running it's course like it did this night.  Get ready to laugh, cringe, and quite possibly cry!  Everything starts out pretty normal for the most part.  I fall asleep on the couch around 8 then find myself shuffling my pregnant self to bed around 10:30; so far so good.  I brush my teeth, wash my face and am in bed snug as a bug in a rug.  Then like an attack from JAWS (insert theme music HERE) it hits!  The GNARLIEST yet most HILARIOUS dream I have ever had!  EVER!  

The Dream:

I find myself sitting in a room that is foreign to me.  I know nothing about this room and the person who lives in this house.  Then a door opens and the guy from Sister Wives walks in.  You know that guy, right?!?!  If not here is a photo of him:

(For all who know me, this is not the type of man I would um…date)

He walks towards me with this cheesy smile, some might have found it very suave.  I, on the other hand, kind of wanted to vomit.  Well, at least the wide awake, conscious me would have wanted to vomit.  I can't speak for my dream self…at all!  

I then find Mr. Sister Wives sitting next to me, touching my leg and the next thing that happens just blows my frigin' mind.  I grab his hand and throw myself on him, like I were a 15 year old girl in heat, standing in front of Taylor Lautner (team Jacob).  I totally started to make out with Sister Wives guy!  I couldn't believe I was dreaming that.  It was like a terrible car wreck happening over and over again.  I couldn't stop kissing this man with obviously bleached-blond hair and a receding hairline!  I am still not sure how my dream self found him sexy…still baffles me.  Ladies this is where it gets gross.  As if kissing and making out with blondie wasn't enough, I had to go and pinch his nipples.  

I am still not sure what to think about that whole dream except, for that I may need therapy for something like that.  I bolted out of that dream and started laughing hysterically!  I couldn't believe it, shoot, I still can't believe I dreamt that!  

I totally thought that my dreams couldn't get any more crazy and boy was I WRONG!

Saturday- Bring on the Humidifier and the burning coughing sensation in my chest.  My husband forces me to call the doctor (he is becoming really good at doing this).  

I place a call and wait for the call back.  An hour later I get a call from the doctor within seconds of  hearing my cough and voice he tells me to get a humidifier and prescribes me pregnancy safe medication.  

Like a super hero (again) my husband runs to pick up my Rx and humidifier.  Next thing I know, I'm laying there contemplating on whether or not I should take this medication.  After that gnarly lecture from the pharmacist I was a little on the scared side.  I decide to put the medicine on the shelf for the time being and see what this humidifier will offer me.  By Saturday night I am feeling like cow dung and the humidifier well, it wasn't doing anything.  I take a long slow walk to the kitchen and tell my husband I need the medication.  He smiles at me and says "Okay honey, I will bring it to you."  I stand right by the sink waiting for him, like a weak little girl I wait for my knight in shining armor to help me feel better; and there he is with my cough syrup in hand ready to take my pain away.  After taking the medicine he walks me back to bed and scratched my back until I fell asleep. 

Sunday- I wake up feeling better and that dry cough I had was now a sticky phlegmy mess!  Gross!  Steamy showers and lots of rest was on my agenda for the day.  Nighttime rolled around and it was time to take my medicine again.  Granted I was supposed to be taking it every 4 hours I just couldn't bring myself to take it.  So, with the reassuring words from my husband I decided to take it before bed that night.  Sunday would be the last night I take the medicine, being too afraid to risk anything happening to the baby I felt like it was the right decision. 

Week 16- "Cha-cha-cha-CHANGES"

"Got up this morning didn't know right from wrong" -Sage Francis 

After waking up and spotting what looked like an actual baby bump, I couldn't help but wonder if having this bump so early was right or wrong.  It totally caught me off guard.  I mean one day I looked bloated, like I was hitting the burgers and beers a little hard.  Then, like night and day, I see an actual pooch.  It was a different kind of pooch; it was a definite baby pooch. 

I couldn't wait for my husband to come home and see it!  It was actual proof that there was something growing in me and I wasn't possessed by a projectile vomiting, hormonal demon.  When he walked through that door at 5:30, I turned to my side and asked him if he noticed anything.  Before I could turn to face him, his hands were on my newly found baby bump; and the rubbing of the mini baby belly began.

Not only was I greeted by a new obvious physical change, but I was also greeted by a not-so obvious change. 

Every night my baby daddy and I sit on the couch and watch a little boob tube, we talk about our day and he rubs my legs.  Tonight was no different except… 

tonight was the night I decided to find out how pregnancy changes the integrity of your bladder/vaginal wall strength.  

During a funny episode of Modern Family, I found myself laughing so hard I kicked my phlegm cough into high gear.  After a couple of small coughs I let out a big hearty one and that wasn't all I let out.  I quickly bring my cough to a halt and look at my husband all bug eyed.  

Next thing you know I am saying "oh no, not here, not yet!"  I get up without looking back and high-tail it to the bathroom.  Next thing I hear is "ARE YOU SERIOUS, ON THE COUCH BABE!?! OH MAN, THIS IS HILARIOUS!"

Yes, friends you guessed correctly.  In mid hefty cough, I some how managed to push out a substantial amount of pee.  I pissed myself on my friggin' couch!  

(Don't worry potential guests…if any after reading this post, we washed the cushions)

With my head held high and gut splitting laughter filling the air I claimed that pee to be my own, and if I remember correctly I am sure a high-5 was exchanged!

After the "peeing on the couch" fiasco, I thought I would treat my husband to a little surprise.  A surprise that doesn't contain bodily fluids.

The following day I decided to go and find out the sex of our baby!!  I thought it would be so cute to surprise him with the sex of our little one.  

By some luck, the imaging center called me in that day to run a gender check on my little baby.  As I was on my way to the center I found myself getting super excited and super nervous.  I kept on wondering if it would have a penis or a vagina.  Every green light became a penis and every red light was a vagina.  Instead of seeing men and women walk the streets of downtown Visalia I saw penis, vagina.  

It became a little overwhelming.  I checked in to the facility and waited patiently.  I drank the last of my water and decided that I should eat a snack before going in.  I asked the lady behind the desk if I could eat some trail mix and she said "of course, that chocolate should get that baby moving".  I found myself pulling out the chocolate pieces first and slamming those as if it were a beer.  Before I could finish the bag I heard them call my name.  It was GO time.  

I walked in and laid on the table without anyone telling me what to do.  I was so excited and I could hardly wait to see what was going on inside me.  

More jelly on the belly, and voila, my little baby popped up on a screen in front of me.  I was all teary eyed and giggly.  I just kept saying "hi baby" over and over again.  Then I started to wonder what it was I was actually looking at.  I mean it looked like a baby, but I couldn't see what kind of heat it was packing.  My baby was so calm in there, just hanging out covering it's face and the goods.  GRRR!  Come on baby spread your legs, let momma see what's going on!!  I told the techs that I had just ate some chocolate in hopes that they wouldn't get too frustrated at the lack of privates being seen.  2 minutes after I told them about the chocolate, my little one decided to get it's move on!  This little one was on a move and it was becoming just as difficult to get a shot of the privates!  I must admit I loved watching it swim around and throw out punches followed by a few kicks.  BUT COME ON KID, DO MOMMA THIS ONE FAVOR!  

Like a falcon that had spotted it's prey, my tech yelled "freeze it, freeze it!", the assistant tech hit a button and there it was (well after she pointed it out to me, there it was).  "IT'S A BOY!" the tech yelled.  With a huge smile I yelled "IT HAS A PENIS!".  I pretty much banked on the whole first floor hearing me yell that one out.  I couldn't believe it, we were having a boy!  I totally thought we were having a girl.  We had all these people telling us we were having a girl. "HA!  In yo face, my baby has a penis! "

After a couple of photos were printed, I got up and walked out with a new found feeling in my heart.  There is a precious little boy growing inside me.  What could be better than that?

I hustled to the mall to purchase a card and few baby items for my husbands big surprise.  I purchased a pair of black baby converse to match my husbands and 3 guayaberas in different sizes.  Hoping that my husband would get the idea, I quickly wrap everything and put the photos of our little boy in the card and…wait.

When he walked through the door I told him to sit down and open his gift and to leave the card for LAST!  He looked at the shoes and loved them, he then looked at each shirt and loved them too…he wasn't getting it.  Finally, he opens the card.  He read it and I am pretty sure he read it one more time for good measure.  He turns to me and yells "WE ARE HAVING A BOY!?! IT'S A BOY!?!  THERE IS A BOY IN THERE?!  HOLY SH*T WE ARE HAVING A BOY!!!!  YEAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Um, I think he was excited!! 

We are having a baby boy!!!