Weeks 11-13

Weeks 11-13

"Week 11-There might just be a silver-lining yet"

Waking up in week 11 was going pretty well and all seemed right with my AM battle with morning sickness.  My husband was pulled from cereal delivery and I was hopping out of bed with a slight spring in my step.  I decided that after my morning toast and yogurt breakfast, that I would go through my closet and find all my clothes that still "fit" me; and by fit me I mean my shirts still covered my boobs without stretching or pulling.  My jeans could still button or be fastened together with a nice rubber band and my bras could still be worn for more than 2 hours without feeling like they were cutting off circulation to my newly engorged breasts.  After the first couple of shirts I started to see a trend, they would fit around my belly but were on the verge of a massive split when the tatas came into the picture.  No matter how tight my pants seemed to get I was still determined to put off shopping for maternity clothes until it was an absolute necessity.  

After finding 2 shirts and maybe a couple of pairs of pants I figured it would be best for me to just stick with dresses.  As you can tell I live in the land of denial quite often, it's my thing, don't judge me. :)

The next thing I know it is lunch time and for the first time in what seemed like an eternity my stomach decides that it's time to make itself heard.  I was caught off guard by my sudden urge for food; actual food!  After weeks of eating toast and a couple of oranges for lunch, my stomach finally said "ENOUGH is ENOUGH, feed me Ashley!" .  I suddenly felt like Rick Moranis in "Little Shop of Horrors", I needed to find something savory and delicious to eat and FAST!  I quickly ran to the fridge and scanned each shelf franticly, I was so afraid to lose this feeling my stomach was giving me.  It had been weeks since I had wanted anything with actual flavor and texture; so, I was not about to pass up this moment!  Still in my pajamas, I quickly run to the bathroom to throw my hair up in a nasty looking bun, grab my glasses and head to the car.  I was gonna get me some LUNCH!  I decided to drive down Mooney Blvd. and just let my nose point me in the right direction.  As I closed in on Mooney I rolled the window down and found myself driving down Mooney with my head out the window!  I quickly thought to myself that this must be how my dog feels when he is in the car with me.  I took in the sunshine and the wind in my face.  Again, I realized just how long it had been since I had taken my car for a drive and really just enjoyed what was around me.  Being totally caught up in the moment of morning sickness freedom, I failed to notice that my stomach was growling at me fiercely and telling me to "pull over woman, I want to eat some In and Out!"  The smell of In and Out was intoxicating to me, you would think it was the first time I had ever smelled a hamburger joint.  I decided to make a quick U turn and get my hungry pregnant self in the drive thru line.  With excitement and a dash of fear I ordered my first burger in 77 days.  

I was at the pick up window and my heart was racing.  As she came closer with my lemonade, I started to feel the saliva in my mouth building with each step.  I take the lemonade with a giant smile and  I answered "YES!" before she could finish "will you be eating this in the car".  Next thing you know my arms are embracing a basket of fresh fries and a juicy hamburger with my name written all over it.  I hit the gas not wanting to waste any precious time and pull into the closest parking spot I could find (which now that I think of it, wasn't a parking spot at all).  I turn off my car and quickly beg my stomach to not only like what I am about to feed it but, to keep it down.  

With the opening song from 2001 A Space Odyssey playing in my head I slowly take a bite from my In and Out burger with no onions.  Chewing ever so slowly, I wash it down with a giant gulp of lemonade and wait.  I waited for 10 minutes and decided I would wait just 2 more, just in case.  As most pregnant women know vomiting from food aversions can show up at any time.  One minute had passed, I just had to wait 60 more seconds… 

'ah, screw it!'  I was ready to eat and I couldn't wait any longer.  60 seconds had come and gone and not only did I take another bite but, I also finished my entire burger!  I could have quite possibly set a world record for fastest In and Out burger ever consumed.  

I clear my hands of all the greasy goodness and decided it was time to go home, I didn't want to take advantage of this moment; I didn't know if and when I was going to get another one.  Having a smile from ear to ear I walk into my house and take my place on the couch waiting for something to go wrong.  Next thing I know, I am waking up from a 3 hour coma-like nap feeling refreshed and kind of hungry.  I felt like it was too good to be true, with the fear of my evening meeting with the porcelain god; I reached for an always welcome orange and banana.  

Week 11 was filled with the same food aversions but, baby steps to keeping more food down and keeping this growing baby inside of me a whole heck of a lot more satisfied.  

Thank you week 11 you have been great!

"Week 12- I think I need to go shopping"

After daily complaints to my husband about my clothing not fitting me any longer and feeling like an over stuffed chorizo, he finally tells me to bite the maternity clothes bullet and go shopping.  Waaaaahahaha, I hate shopping!!  

Still thinking I could fit into my bathing suit I go to my dresser and grab old faithful!  If I could fit into her I could still fit into my clothes for another week.  As the laws of pregnancy have it, the rapid bloating and ever growing pouch had a mind of it's own and I had to just suck it up and go…shopping.  The next morning came faster than any other morning and I knew what awaited me that day.  So, with just a little bit of hesitance I got up and took my time going about my daily routine.  I even called my husband and told him to meet me for lunch!  I figured a nice long drive to Exeter would cut into my day nicely.  While at lunch we discussed his day and the start of my morning, on our way back to the car he looks at me and says " you are going shopping today aren't you?"  I roll my eyes and just accept the fact that this shopping thing was bound to happen today.  

On my drive back home I was thinking about just how annoying it must be for him to hear day after day "I am getting fat, why I am so bloated, I feel ugly, I look huge, I feel huge, why am I so bloated, can you tell I am pregnant or do I just look like I have been hitting the burgers and beers…"  

I even started to annoy myself with these questions and statements, I had to stop the madness, I had to stop it for him and his sanity.  

I felt so small standing in front of Motherhood Maternity, I started to feel like I couldn't breath.  Forcing myself through the double doors, I was greeted by an up-beat sweet woman behind the counter.  I am pretty sure she saw my anxiety from a mile away and bless her heart for coming up and assisting me with all types of maternity clothing questions and concerns.  I let her know that a bathing suit was priority on my list, being pregnant in the summer time without a suit that fit was not an option for me.  We walk over to the selection of suits and I go straight for a nice black…two piece?!  OH HELL NO!  I put that bad boy back and grabbed a tankini thing.  I walk into the dressing room and  close the curtain behind me, I turn to the mirror not only to see myself in early pregnant form but, I also see this big, black pillow with a strap around it.  Completely confused I ask out loud "what the heck is this strapped pillow thing?" .  I hear a couple of footsteps in my direction and then the curtain opens, "Oh that thing?  That is a pregnancy bump, it helps you get an idea as to what you will look like in our clothing the further you get into your pregnancy.  It's not an exact size of what you will be but, close"  She then smiles at me and exits my dressing room.  I slowly reach for the bump and decided to make the best out of my visit at Motherhood Maternity, I mean this thing just yells "good time"!  

Like putting on a bra, I strap that baby on and adjust the bump; then put on the top to my bathing suit.  Laughing hysterically, I grab my phone and decided to document this moment for my husband.  He would appreciate a multi-media message text like this and this is the closest I would ever get to sexting.  After striking a couple of my sexiest poses.  I pick the winner and I accept that fact that I am not the definition of sexy! Bwahahaah!

Lets just say that a good time was had by all in Motherhood Maternity, including myself and I have the photo to prove it!  

Sexy eh?!  I am totally bringing sexy back, in a major pregnant way!

"Week 13- What was that sound?"

Week 13 was the start of my gas orchestra!  When they say that you get gassy they mean it; and there is not a Gas X or Tums out there that can help you or your loved ones!  After eating a simple meal of lettuce and fruits I decided to lay in bed and read a couple of pages of a random baby book.  Next thing I know my dog Mr. Big and my cat George are cuddled up right next to me.  With all that love around me I found it hard not to doze off and sleep (yet again).

What seemed like 30 seconds later, I was shaken out of bed by my dog struggling to get out from underneath the covers and a strange noise that I no longer heard.  I look around and wonder to myself what the heck was that noise… my dog finds his way out from the covers but, before he jumps off the bed he turns and stares right at me.  I could have swore I saw a small dose of fear and confusion in his eyes and without warning he jumped off the bed and sat next to my husband who was standing in the doorway of our bedroom.  Smiling with a grin that could out do even the Joker, my husband asks me "did that sound come out of you?!"  With a sudden rush of embarrassment I feel my cheeks become flush.  Totally embarrassed I put two and two together.  The sound that not only frightened my dog and woke me from my sleep was the same sound that usually leaves most peoples backsides while in the restroom!  Yes ladies and gentlemen I farted myself awake, my dog into shock, and my husband into complete rolling on the floor, side splitting laughter!  

I really thought that a sound with that much fervor would never, could never exit my little body but it did!  Week 13 passed with me farting with enough force to launch a rocket-ship and burping loud enough to sound like a frat boy after a keg stand!  Not a day has passed since week 13 were I have not passed some type of gas.  I am sure I am contributing to the terrible pollution rate Visalia is currently known for, watch out LA!